Washington, D.C. – V.I.
News Corp. was informed this morning that one of its top correspondents, Andy
Warhola, resigned this morning amid a hacking scandal involving a Mr. K. Warhola had written an article for Logorrhea
Blogorrhea entitled “Horrible Little Man Micromanages Blog While Subsisting
Entirely on Subway Five Dollar Footlongs.”
The article was subsequently edited sometime during the night or morning
after it was posted on September 17, 2013.
The edited article portrayed Mr. K in a positive light, describing him
as a wonderful man and the love of the author’s life. The genuine article is reported to have been
an unflatteringly portrayal of Mr. K, accusing him internet collective blog
bullying and hoarding subway five dollar footlongs in his jowls.
Mr. Warhola declined to comment on the reasons
why Mr. K edited the blog, but did state, “I find it ironic that this sandwich
stuffing man doesn’t believe in freedom of the press considering that he is currently
enrolled in a 1st Amendment class at The George Washington Law School.” Mr. Warhola further speculated that Mr. K is related
to Russian President Vladimir Putin. Sources
have confirmed that Mr. K is, in fact, a distant relative of President Putin,
which may explain his actions.
-Vandelay Industries News Corp.
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